Attraction For Coaches

Drew Rozell, Session Leader

Drew: Hi, everybody, this is Drew Rozell. We're doing Attraction for Coaches today. I was thinking what I could offer people out there, and I thought a lot of people were interested in attraction. I know that over the years as my interest in attraction as grown, what I do in coaching has changed, how I do what I do has changed, and who shows up has changed. It's been a big catalyst for me in how our profession looks and operates. I thought I could share what I know about it. I've put some topics up here, and I can cover any or all of those, but I don't want this to be specifically on my agenda. I want to hear what brought you to this class and what you hope to get out of it. If any of you would like to share that with me, it would be really helpful.

XXX: I hear it a lot that it's ‘coach talk'.

Drew: Attraction is coach talk?

XXX: Yeah, it's something they hear coaches talk about, and they want to learn more.

Drew: So it's like a jargon term?

XXX: Yeah.

Drew: Does attraction mean anything to you yet?

XXX: Kind of, but it's like how everybody else talks about it.

Drew: So what can I provide for you that would be helpful?

XXX: Just the universal-ness about it.

Drew: Okay, thank you. Who else? What else are you interested in discussing?

XXX: I need to learn how to attract clients. That's key for me.

Drew: My guess is that you're not the only one with that question.

XXX: Yes, me too. I want to attract clients versus promoting or selling.

XXX: I'd like to add one step to that; I would like to attract my ideal clients.

Drew: Beautiful! Anyone else?

XXX: Most of my clients think it's a bit too woo-woo for them.

XXX: I've had that too.

Drew: Okay; I'll share with you my experience of that as we go along here as well. Anything else? Well, I'll start off talking here in general and give you the framework. I'm always interested in how things work. I've been reading this book called The Elegant Universe by Brian Green. It's really cool; it's all about strange theories in physics, and he talks about Einstein and relativity and is able to put these pretty complex concepts into everyday language. Einstein was always looking for the one-brain, unified theory that explains everything, and I have as well, and I seem to have attracted this information on attraction. It gives me a model that never seems to fail, and the more information I gather from whatever source, everything seems to support the information that I learn and experience through attraction.

For those who aren't really familiar with attraction, it's the concept that like attracts like, and we're looking at ti from the level of energy that we put out. The energy is similar to karma, and the energy you put out ot the universe is the energy that you get reflected back. The intention behind the energy determines what you get back. These are the forces that are at work right now in your life. Coming from this perspective, everything that's in your experience right now is something that you're attracting. It's coming from the perspective that you brought it there. This gave me a complete sense of power over my life – what's here I'm responsible for, but I can change. I really like to come from that place.

Now, what this does for a coach as well, is that it gives you a framework with which to work with clients. It's a way of looking at the world and interpreting situations that come about, and what you can set up in your life and how you can choose to live so these problems don't come up in the first place. When I first became a coach, I tried to help my clients with their problems and check in with them on their problems. Sometimes I'd help and sometimes I wouldn't, but it didn't feel very effective, I can tell you that. It wasn't fun talking about the problems, and the problems still seemed to occur; there wasn't this great learning going on that I wanted to share with clients. Coming from an attraction perspective, it was let's look at your life, what's going on with your life, and identify where you're in harmony with this law, and where you're in dis-harmony, and let's give you life an overhaul. Let's not work on the symptoms here; let's go to the greater framework.

Coming from that framework, I noticed a complete shift in my coaching – how easy and fun it is to coach – and there's a great difference in my clients. It's not – they're not walking away from a session focusing on a problem; they're walking away from a session with expanded minds. They're thinking differently throughout the week, and I think the value of coaching goes up exponentially. Let me shut up for a minute, and stop for questions and comments or anything that's out there.

XXX: I've found that one thing is really working for me – even though it's not attraction, per se – is that when you focus on what you want, versus on what you're stuck in, people tend to turn around and look at what they want instead of what they don't want.

Drew: Thank you. When I start with folks, that's one of the – I have a little intake package, and one of the questions I ask is, ‘What do you love?' Most people really haven't thought of what their intentions are; usually they're coming from the place of, ‘I don't want this'. The more fun people to me are those who have something big and shiny out there that they can move towards. That's the difference that I see in coaching as well; it's more fun to be in the place where you're moving towards, rather than moving away. That's something I try to bring up with my clients as well. Thank you for that.

XXX: This really seems like a very soft way of giving them positive direction.

XXX: That's the way – just from the idea of attraction in general?

Drew: Yeah. I segue to that; I got really interested in attraction and it just wasn't going away – there was too much energy there. I just really enjoy incorporating this into my own life. Your practice right now reflects you – the kind of clients you have are perfect mirrors for you.

XXX: Uh-oh!

Drew: Uh-oh is right! (laugh) We've all been in that place, but you can look at those clients and you've attracted them. They're right where you're supposed to be right now; they're perfectly reflecting whatever your intention is right now around coaching. For a lot of coaches – I don't know what the numbers are, but based on my experience, I would say 80 percent of the coaches I meet don't have the practice they really desire and they don't know how to get there. Anybody get a sense of that? That's pretty much what I see.

I'm going to come back to this idea of attraction – for me, it was just what I was all about, what I was interested in, and it became something I just naturally shared with my clients. I would bring my own interest and my own perspective; I think that's our job as coaches. At least for me, universally I found that it does. The reason that this idea of attraction – I think we all have an inner skepticism because we may not understand it, but there's also that inner resonance. It's not like you're bringing in this totally foreign concept. Once they were interested, I started introducing more of the language and the framework, and I've never had any resistance. Part of that is that it was my intention that it wouldn't be a problem, either. My guess is that if you go into it with, ‘What are they going to think? What are they going to say?', it'll come across that way.

Coming from the attraction perspective, I remember when I first began as a coach and I tried to do everything right; I didn't want to get fired! I kept thinking, ‘Let me make sure I do this right; I don't want to be let go.' I'd be on the edge of my chair, kind of just intense and with this tight vibration around all this. I was trying to coach by the numbers and make sure I did a good job. From an attraction perspective, I get to sit back in the chair and relax, and just hear what's there with a client. I don't have prep sheets and I don't take notes. Because I have this universal framework, I don't need any of that stuff – I have everything I need within myself. When a client says something and they're talking to me, I feel that in my body. If I sense that I should say something, I say it, and if I sense that it's time to shut up, I just shut up. It completely frees me up as a coach, and I think it frees up my clients tremendously. I think they get much more value from me now than they did when I was coaching the old way.

XXX: Is it intuition?

Drew: You can call it that, yeah. That's one of the principles of attraction, and most of us don't trust that enough. We cover it up and have forgotten that it's there.

XXX: My coach coaches me like that, and he says that you always know you're right.

Drew: That's exactly right. It's not the easiest thing to do sometimes, but that's right.

XXX: Is this something that's fairly new as far as bringing to the awareness, or is it something that's just coming to my awareness? I realize this might be very old.

Drew: Yeah, it's a very old concept, and the face of it is changing as it goes along, but it's all borne out of the fact that the information is being spread faster and faster. I think this information is growing and being dispersed all over the place now. I do think the world is moving that way, in a very positive sense; I think there's a lot of really cool stuff that the awareness level is greatly accelerated from what it used to be. Want to talk about clients?

XXX: Sure (multiple voices)

Drew: What's going on with clients?

XXX: I don't have any.

Drew: Why don't you have clients? Do you want clients?

XXX: Yeah.

Drew: Are you sure?

XXX: I haven't done everything I need to do to get them.

Drew: Like what?

XXX: I need to get out there more, and I need to – I need to get out there more.

Drew: So that's the story you're telling yourself? Right now, your practice is reflecting what you desire. Right now you're telling yourself that you need to get out there more. I'm going to ask permission to coach you a bit.

XXX: Yeah!

Drew: Right now, the fact that you have no clients is reflecting your intention, okay? You have an intention that's saying, ‘I want clients.' What do you want?

XXX: Right now, it's like 2.

Drew: Any reason why you want them?

XXX: That was my intention, to have 2 clients and then I would then be a successful coach.

Drew: Okay. You have that ‘if-then' thing. ‘If I have 10, then I will be a coach.' That's what you're saying to the universe – that's what your intention is. For you and for everybody who's listening to this, I'll give you the quickest heads-up I can on this; until you stand firmly in the place of being a coach, and you are a coach in every part of your being, you're a coach – it's just what you do and who you are. When you stand in that place, you allow people to come to you. Right now, you have this intention to attract people into your experience, but right now, you have this conflicting intention why you can't do that. For everybody out there, if you don't have the practice that you desire, you've got to figure out what those conflicting intentions are. The same thing is true for your clients.

People will say, ‘This is what I want – I want a new job, but I can't figure out why it's not showing up.' My first question is, ‘Why don't you want that job?' They'll tell me they don't know what I mean, but if you wait them out for a couple of minutes, they'll start telling you what their conflicting intentions are, and that's the reason it's not showing up.

XXX: Could you give some examples of conflicting intentions?

Drew: Sure. Do you want to use you?

XXX: No, I'd rather have you use the previous person (laugh), but sure.

Drew: Well, I was talking to this person the other day who said, ‘I really want this job; I'm very clear on that but it hasn't shown up yet.' I said, ‘Why isn't it showing up? What's your best guess? Why don't you want that job?' Sure enough, he said, ‘Well, there's this commute and I don't know how I'd get there if I got this job.' If you're putting out that energy – and I can look at this with coaches – if you ask people and go in a little deeper, you're always going to get those conflicting intentions. They're not always at the conscious level, but more often than not, they're not too far from the surface, but people aren't aware of them. They think it doesn't matter, but it does – it matters a lot. Until you can clear that conflict… we've all had the experience of powerfully wanting something, and having that be really clean, really clear, and being unattached to it, and it just shows up. That's just the way things normally work, but when we put those conflicting intentions in there, that's the thing that kind of mucks up the works; they're getting in the way of these things coming into our experience.

XXX: How do we clear our intentions? Suppose we ask ourselves these questions, and then how do we clear them?

Drew: That's an excellent question; it's actually part of the AttractionVille forum called ‘Why isn't it showing up?' That is one that I'll be doing again. It's a critical question, and I think it's one that needs to be addressed. We can have this awareness of everything, but how do we clear those intentions. That is something that I'll address there. If you're interested, I'd invite you to check out AttractionVille.

XXX: Can I just give you a plug?

Drew: You certainly may.

XXX: I was one of the first members of AttractionVille, and I've listened to all the classes and read the transcripts, and I've just thoroughly enjoyed them all. You're doing a great job there.

Drew: Thank you very much! For intentions, I will say this; whatever they are, make sure that they are positive – not about what you don't want. Make sure they're specific, and make sure they're in the present. Everything you're talking about, get in the ‘I am' place. Get in that place; be that person. Be the coach who has the dynamic practice that they love; step in that place. Until you do, your life won't reflect that.

Attracting perfect clients – should I say something about this?

XXX: Well, I'm the one who asked that, and I guess I've answered it myself. If you're intending to attract perfect clients, you will attract them. Right?

Drew: You're always attracting your perfect clients right now. Anybody out there attracting clients that they don't really love to work with, where it feels like work?

XXX: I did have a client like that, and I no longer have that client, but in retrospect, that client brought me validation in a way that I wasn't seeing at the moment. That client also brought me growth because I then understood exactly who I wanted to work with.

Drew: I think you'll find that wherever you are, you attract clients at that level. That doesn't mean you can't switch that really quickly. If you have clients who are struggling with money, usually that means that's something you need to work on as well. I've had that experience, that there is that perfection in attraction in terms of what shows up for you. I'm curious, I want to know what your experiences are. What do you desire from coaching that isn't there?

XXX: I was always attracting clients who were willing to be pro bono, and I just recently made the intention that I wanted to work with clients who are paying. I'm really curious now to see how that shows up in my life.

Drew: So, your intention – have you got any conflicting intentions?

XXX: I don't think so. I think it was stemming from a lack of value of my coaching. It was very empowering to realize and know that my coach does have value, and I'm going to have clients who pay for it.

Drew: Beautiful! We've all been there – most coaches anyway – where there's this threshold that needs to be crossed regarding your value as a coach and your services. How you feel about what you're bringing to the table is going to determine what comes and sits on that table. For everybody out there, be really clear on your intentions of what you want to attract and what you want to bring in, and be aware of those conflicting intentions – those are holding you back right now.

XXX: Are conflicting intentions based on a perceived truth, then?

Drew: I would call that a belief, yes. Conflicting intentions come from how you're conditioned, what you've learned, what you've experienced, the stories you've been told. Those would be all the beliefs under that, and they would become a conflicting intention. Whatever those beliefs are, they're actually conflicting intentions. I would say recognize those within yourself, and as a coach.

XXX: Are you up for playing on another level then? I've been struggling – my husband and I have a business which is separate from my coaching business, and we've been struggling with what I call an anally retentive banker. We thought we were going to be able to switch banks and get out from under this gentleman, and we found out today that we cannot. To change that, though – I have a solid belief that this gentleman is not the best person we could be working with; we're not on the same page, and we don't ….

Drew: You're stuck with him now, though?

XXX: Yeah, we're stuck.

Drew: From an attraction perspective, the energy that you bring – and everybody, think of this as a coaching client coming to you with a situation – and I listen to the energy that you're bringing to this and the energy around this person. Every time you bring up this banker person, the energy's not good, so you have a couple options. One is to get away from that situation, which you've tried, and it doesn't seem to be able to happen. Number two, change the energy, and that's harder than leaving the situation, but it is possible. Every time you're going there or calling up this person and it's stirring up these feelings within you – these are what we call vibrations in attraction, and the universe is matching that.

XXX: So then the next step would be that if I think I can get along with this gentleman and work with this gentleman, then we're both going be on the same page, and even if it's not so, it will be so because I'll be vibrating in that direction?

Drew: Yes.

XXX: That's big!

XXX: The language around it is just so interesting to me. I'm thinking if you address boldly like that, you may understand that part your language is playing in the situation.

Drew: Well said! As someone who coaches from the attraction perspective, I'm always listening to how people say things -whether they're focusing on what they don't want or are bringing in a judgment energy to something – great job. We're the co-creators; thing don't just happen to us. They don't just happen. We are co-creators in this play of life, and right now you've attracted this. From an attraction standpoint, he's there because you attracted him. There may or may not be a reason for that.

XXX: And I've looked for that. I've asked the universe what it is trying to tell me and what it is I'm supposed to learn.

Drew: Yeah, and the idea is, what if it wasn't a problem? That's the way, if I could choose for everybody and want something for everybody, including myself, it would be to not get to that place to have that negative energy reside in us. That energy just brings to us the stuff that we don't want. The more you think and speak and do that reflects you being stuck, that's what you'll be. The more you think, say, and do that reflects on you being free…. It's quite simple in that regard.

XXX: I've been trying something that's a very simple tool. As soon as I become aware of the negative energy, I very quickly try and find something to blast appreciation at. It could be anything from the ice on the trees or – just anything around me.

Drew: Gratitude, yeah.

XXX: It's amazing how quickly that will free up my flow again.

Drew: Thank you for that; that's something that I like to do as well. It's so important to change that vibration. Talking about this again in the context of coaching, if I have a client who's coming from that place, a couple of years ago I would just let the person be in that place, but now (1) I don't attract it very much anymore, and (2) if they are, it's my job to show them that because they won't be aware of it. I can tell you it makes the call more pleasant for me and for them.

XXX: Can you talk about how to respond when someone says, ‘I don't believe that. I don't believe that I can have control over my life…'

Drew: You know, it doesn't really – I haven't had it happen, really, to be honest with you. I don't expect it, and I'm not attached to it in that – just from a coaching perspective and attraction perspective – this is really helpful because for years in my coaching, I was really attached to the outcome. When you can release all of that and be unattached and just be where you are… .it sounds like you have a lot of resonance with attraction, is that true?

XXX: Yeah, I think so. I don't believe it applies to all situations in life, so that's why I asked the question.

Drew: Okay, because that's the way you're coming to the table, you would then probably attract people who would tweak you on the specific questions that you have, or the very doubts that you have. Whether you're talking about attraction or whatever, that's what we bring to coaching. Every time I feared that a client was going to fire me, guess what? They did fire me.

XXX: I guess I look at it a little bit differently; I look at what's in the best interest of the client, and I'll be having a conversation with one of my clients, and this will come up in the sense that I know that it's best for him.

Drew: Good. This occurs to me – we're talking about attraction and how to bring these principles into a coaching practice, but also how do you attract the practice that you really want? I'm going to give you what I think is the biggest secret of what this is about. Who is coaching about? Let me ask you that question.

XXX: The client.

XXX: Yourself.

XXX: Both.

Drew: How many people think coaching's about the client? Most people. I know I approached it that way for years, that coaching is about the client. It certainly makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? It becomes this – for me, anyway, it was about this pressure of providing value to the client. Anybody have this experience and resonate with that? When I stopped making coaching about the client and started making it about me, that's when everything changed. It's about you. If the by-product is the world gets to be a better place, that's nice, that's good, but that's a by-product. Of course, it's just my opinion, but when you make coaching about you – to reflect your intentions, your desires, and the kind of life you want to live – the more you make it about that, the better you're going to be as a coach, and attracting clients just isn't going to be an issue. You're standing in that place, and they can just see that, and it's attractive.

None of you just got here; there was some flash in you that just said, ‘Whoa! That's what a coach is!' The secret to this folks, is to make your own life attractive; make it a cool life, whatever that means to you. Don't think you have to make it what you've been trained that coaching looks like. The practice of coaching will create itself. Live it and they will come! Somewhere in there, you're going to hit resistance, and you're going to say, ‘That isn't me. That might work for somebody else, but it isn't for me.' That's a conflicting intention, and that's what's going to keep those people from showing up in your existence. When you create that happiness, it all comes your way. Then it becomes easy and it's not too good to be true. Was that helpful at all?

XXX: That was the most helpful thing I've heard.

XXX: That was very helpful (multiple voices)

XXX: I'm probably the only non-professional coach on the call; I get the newsletter, and thought I'd come to the call. I feel so great about my life. When you get to those spots that don't feel so wonderful, those are the spots that you need to work on with your coach. If you're not coachable, you're not going to get the most out of your life – that's my opinion, anyway. I've really enjoyed reading The 11th Element, and it's something that when I was reading it, it made so much sense.

Drew: Yes! Thank you for that. The whole idea of attraction just gives me that framework, a place to come from that's so reliable and so easy to use that it just transforms the whole coaching conversation that you have with people. it leads to the big changes, rather than doing a decent job at resolving small problems. I just find there's a lot more value in coming from this place. I got into coaching and went through the training and was relatively successful. I had 12 clients, who weren't the greatest clients, and I wasn't the greatest coach. It was work, and I was trudging out to networking meetings and a lot of other things I didn't get into coaching to do. It takes courage, but when you have the courage to step away from the things you think you should be doing, and to the things that you just do, watch what shows up around you – it'll blow your socks off!

Just as we're winding down here, anybody – your thoughts from the call? Was anything helpful?

XXX: This is extremely helpful.

XXX: You're extremely inspiring, Drew.

XXX: I'm going to get on the newsletter.

Drew: Great! Check it out – there's a free newsletter and we'd love to have you on board.

XXX: What's the book you mentioned?

Drew: The Elegant Universe by Brian Green. If anybody wants to contact me, just email drew@attractionville.com. With your AttractionVille membership, we give you a couple of books, by the way.

XXX: There's another book called Attracting Perfect Customers.

Drew: I've heard of that, but haven't read it. Those are some resources. I really enjoyed having you all on the call; thanks for showing up. I hope to see you on the bridge again soon!