No Problem

Drew Rozell, Session Leader

Drew: Let's see; where to begin? This idea of no problem. I actually wrote an article about this over a year, it was close to 2 years ago. The inspiration for the article was a person – I won't identify this person, but in my contact with this person, I was struck by the fact that everything was a problem. The hotel we were at; there were problems with the hotel. There were problems with the room, with the bed, and so on – of course, we could solve all the problems. They loved getting into the nitty-gritty and doing what needed to be done to solve the problems. The more I observed this person, the more it seemed to be the way that they operated, and the way that they perceived the world. All their energy seemed to be directed toward fixing problems and solving problems. As someone that close to the person, I felt like I didn't want to be around them. They were giving off a negative vibe; it was just problem after problem.

What's more, after watching this person over time, this person seemed to attract a lot of legitimate or things that I would call problems. Whether they be health problems or accidents or financial problems, the more I would look at this person, the more they would seem to bring that into their lives. I do see a fair number of people that live this way, and it just struck me with the idea of ‘Does it have to be this way?'

In perceiving the events in our lives, do they have to be problems? Do they have to immediately be things that make us feel like something is wrong or has to be fixed? That puts pressure on us that doesn't feel good. In this class, I want to bring to the forefront what would your life be like if there were no problems? First of all, is that possible? I'll throw it to you guys. Is that possible?

Jo: I think it's a perception. Is it a problem or is it an opportunity?

Drew: Okay.

Jo: Once you start looking at it as an opportunity, it takes away all of the negativity that I perceive a problem to be. It's something where – I'm trying to think of an example – the car won't start in the morning.

Drew: The car won't start in the morning – is that a problem?

Jo: It could be perceived as a problem; it could be an opportunity.

Drew: Give me an example of what could be the opportunity in that.

Jo: Call a co-worker, have them pick you up, and that gives you an opportunity to get to know your co-worker better. It gives you an opportunity not to be enmeshed in the rush of the traffic. You might become ride-sharing partners, and then you've got a way to be less stressful when you get to work because you've had a nice conversation.

Drew: Thanks for that example. That certainly sounds pleasant, and you can see that as an opportunity. Certainly I've been exposed to the idea that yes, these are opportunities; for some folks out there, is that going to sound hollow, though? Understand that I know where you're coming from, and I'm trying to see where the group is at. Does that work for you?

Kate: I was thinking about the same thing – the perception. What I'm training myself to do is when a situation shows up in my life, rather than getting stuck in a ‘typical problem', is to accept what is. I can choose to be upset and pulled down by it, or I can accept it and move on very positively. There's also opportunity; it's about how I feel. It doesn't change the situation, but I am the situation.

Drew: What I hear you saying is that things may happen, things will happen, but there's a choice for you. There's a choice in how to respond. I'm with you on that. Why do we respond to things as problems? I'm throwing this out to everybody.

Kate; I think we're trained from the time we're children. As soon as we're able to comprehend good and bad, we see bad and are taught to react to it. I think it's a learned experience.

Drew: I'll agree with that. The problem comes from conditioning; from what we learn, from what we associate with good and bad, from what our parents did, and how we reacted to things. You know, there's a saying that you can see things in your parents and you say ‘That'll never be me' and then lo and behold, you find yourself exhibiting the same behavior. It comes from the idea of conditioning; that we associate certain events with certain reactions. A lot of the time, I don't think there's – at least initially, with an event that happens – what we do is immediately characterize what happens as either good or bad. From the inside, we react and once we react, we've taken that place away where we step in and decide how we're going to react to an event.

Tony: I think it's also about expected outcomes; we set in our mind how tings are going to be and don't look at other ways of achieving it.

Drew: I'll agree with that. Can you give me an example or somewhere where that would show up?

Tony: I guess – I come from a sales and marketing background, so it has to do with a phone conversation, for example. You get a call that you think is promising, that is really going to work out, and the client shows no interest.

Drew: So you're saying it's the expectancy?

Tony: Yeah, it's the expectation in terms of you've planned to do something; you've mapped it out in your mind and it's going to be really great if it happens. And then it doesn't, so immediately it's a problem.

Drew: So you're also talking about a linear chain of events – the way things are going to happen. I hear this in talking with a lot of coaching clients. They have the mindset of ‘if I do this, then this will happen'. And when that does not happen – and a lot of times it does happen that way – they perceive it to be not getting where they want to go, and not attracting what they want to attract. If you can get rid of that linear mindset, you can still see that what you desire will come to you in ways that you can't imagine – in perfect ways that may not follow the linear steps you have in your mind. Who has a problem here?

Jen: have lots!

Drew: All right, Jen!

Jen: I agree with the idea of how you react and so on, but it's hard to find the opportunity in sickness or accidents or whatever – it's hard to find the opportunity.

Drew: Okay, so it's hard to find the opportunity in a big accident or in death. Help me understand where you're coming from as to why that is a problem.

Jen: Because it causes a lot of pain and suffering, and just a lot of heartache. If I could reverse time, I would give up that opportunity.

Drew: Okay, let's – I hear where you're coming from and for some people, opportunity won't work. It just seems a little too cozy. Let's take the example like death. That's something I had written in my notes that might come up – death, illness, or disease. I don't know if there's an opportunity there; there may be, and it depends on your intention. Let's talk about death, though. Is there a problem associated with death?

Jen: There's a problem with people who are still living.

Drew: And what would that problem be?

Jen: The suffering.

Drew: And where do you think that response comes from?

Jen: I think it's just a natural feeling of loss. When you've lost that relationship, I think that's just a very natural feeling.

Drew: Yes, and it very well may be. I'll tell you the truth, I don't know either way. I think it comes down to this sort of questioning – is death necessarily bad?

Jen: Sometimes. Can I give you that answer?

Drew: You can give me any answer you like.

Jen: Well, sometimes it's unfortunate.

Drew: Well, in any situation we don't know all the answers in the universe, but we're going to bring our judgment to every situation, and that's just one of the situations we bring our judgment to, that death is bad.

Kate: A judgment that I used to notice in myself was that sadness was a problem, and I don't see that so much now. I'm realizing when I'm really present with that, I can have peace even in grief. I'm not struggling; I'm not resisting – it brings in all those factors of acceptance. That allows for peace and then therefore, sadness is not the problem. It doesn't have the – it isn't, I can't label it as a problem now.

Drew: I'm hearing a couple things in what you're saying. Are you saying you used to view sadness as – if you were sad and it didn't feel good, that that wasn't good?

Kate: Yes, that there was pain in it, rather than ‘Oh, I miss them'. It was a nastier place to be for me, where now I'm finding that I can be sad and have joy or peace at the same time. It's accepting what is.

Drew: And in attraction a lot of time one of the concerns is, is that bad? Am I attracting more bad things? What I hear from you, Kate, is that you've gotten to the place where you can just be in that place of being sad. My guess is that by not resisting what you're feeling – by being in that place and experiencing that whole thing, you actually probably transcend that feeling more quickly than if you tried to resist it.

Kate: Yes; I think for me the resistance is what made it a problem. It was a struggle; it was hard. Now, it's just a peaceful place to just be.

Drew: I think the whole idea of resistance as a concept is huge, I think. One of the books I like, Power Versus Force by David Hawkins – I'm looking at it on my shelf right now – is that the title of that book gives a lot of it away. If we can always be in a place of power, that's much better than being in a place of force. We're putting forth pressure and all we get is counter-pressure. A lot of times when we approach things as problems or as bad, as something that shouldn't be in our lives, what we're doing is pressing up against that with a lot of resistance and we're going to get a lot of counter-resistance in our lives.

Kate: Yes.

Ken: I want to bounce off of what you said here. I think there's a real – I think there's an idea that when we're in a state of emotion like Kate was talking about, the resistance comes from seeing ourselves as less than that. I'm sad now, so I'm less than what I am when I'm happy, or I'm grieving now so that I'm less than what I am when I'm not grieving. To me, that's where the resistance comes in. It's about this idea that I'm less than something and I have to get back to where I was before, rather than just letting it pass through me and go on its merry way. I think it's really important as human beings to see that emotions are part of what make us whole. They may not be pleasant, but we're not diminished by having them. If it's part of me now, that doesn't mean it's always going to be there, but if you resist, you just really go right down the toilet.

Drew: And that's where you can see everything multiplying around you.

Ken: Yeah, and it takes you completely out of the moment.

Drew: So what I'm getting just from the flavor of your comments and what we've been talking about, the idea of problems – in a large sense – is that in the present moment, right now, problems really don't exist.

Ken: Exactly! There's reality and reality exists. I am sad or I have bills to pay or I'm not satisfied with the way things turned out, or whatever. Trying to resist it in this moment takes me out of this moment. If I see things as ‘Oh, that's just the way it is right now', then I have freedom, freedom to move. If I'm in the moment, there are no problems, but if I try to be somewhere I'm not – whoa! There are problems.

Drew: I'm curious if anyone right now, in this one moment, if there's a problem. I'll take that as a ‘no'. this is something I come back to a lot in my own thoughts, and right away you can start creating these things in your mind. At that point, I try to stop and take a breath and say, ‘What's the problem right now, at this very instant in my life?' I have none. It's either somewhere in the future or somewhere in the past. What are some people carrying with them now – what kind of problems do you see that you have? What comes up?

Jen: With the upcoming holiday – it's not that I have a clear problem, but I'll just go over that ‘tape' of that holiday and I'll look at that and say, gosh, there's a problem with my family, or something. Whereas I'm not having a problem right now on this call, there's that tape in my mind going over and over what could happen….

Drew: And that tape, number one, is going back in the past. That fact aside, what's the problem?

Jen: That we can't all get together and be comfortable.

Drew: And can I go with you a second on this? Why is that a problem?

Jen: It makes it uncomfortable and not fun, and in a way, that's a problem.

Drew: Is it a problem for everybody do you think, or is it a problem for you?

Jen: Probably not to the degree it is for me.

Drew: What do you think – from your best guess – what do you think this situation reflects in you?

Jen: Probably an uneasiness or a conflict and a disappointment in family.

Drew: Okay, so you've got conflict, and being disappointed in your family. Is there a way things should be with your family?

Jen: Yes, in there's a way that I would like it to be. There's that expectation that we've talked about before.

Drew: How would you like it to be?

Jen: Happy and fun and full of love. Smooth.

Drew: And the energy that you bring to it right now, Jen, is that in that spirit – happy, loving, fun?

Jen: It might start out that way, but then frustration levels get to a certain point and no.

Drew: Are you tapping into other people's frustration levels?

Jen: Probably, yes.

Drew: And then they affect you?

Jen: Yes, but I let it affect me.

Drew: And whether or not it's a conscious choice, at this point there is a choice.

Jen: Right.

Drew: There is a choice that those people are going to do what they do and how they're going to do it, but right now when things don't meet an expectation it's pushing a button in you and you're going to the place of there's a reaction around it and that doesn't feel good.

Jen: Correct.

Drew: Is there another way to approach that? If you didn't go to that place where this wasn't good – that this was a problem, is there another place you could think of? Instead of reacting, how could you respond to the situation?

Jen: Well, so far, what I've found that works the best is to just leave it and walk away. Not to add to it or respond in any way.

Drew: What does that do for you?

Jen: It just removes me from the situation and I can calm down a little bit and not feed into it.

Drew: If everybody never gets along, will that be okay?

Jen: Yeah, I guess so (laugh).

Drew: I hear laughter; that's always a good sign. Will that be okay?

Jen: It would. It's unfortunate, but yes, that would be okay.

Drew: Does it feel better to kind of let that go? You're taking responsibility; there's a subtle responsibility around it for you and it's something you want to fix, but yet you don't feel like you can and you're getting to this place of feeling helpless around it.

Jen: Yeah, but when you said to just let it go and be okay with it, I felt it in my body. That felt better.

Drew: And maybe you don't have to take that on.

Jen: Right.

Drew: And maybe right now it's not actually a problem; it is what it is and it's our judgment that everybody should get along that sets it off.

Jen: Right.

Drew: And the other part of this is that anytime we're responding to something – this goes back to the person I was talking about in the introduction – any time we look at life as problems all the time, it just activates the part of us that doesn't feel very good and that's what then it brings more and more things that need fixing. And, they make us feel uncomfortable. This one person embodies that so clearly that everything was a problem so they had more and more problems to take care of all the time. Does anyone have a sense of why that is? What do problems do for us that we allow them into our lives in the first place?

Chad: the first thing that pops to my mind is that I've spoken to people who've identified themselves as the ‘problem fixer' or ‘problem solver'. My sense is that there are really people who think they're problem solvers and my sense if that they're really the people who keep – it's just an open invitation for shit to wander into their lives because it gives them their identity.

Drew: Right, and it can give a real sense of identity to people. I think another thing it does is that it can be a source of energy for people. If there's always something wrong, they'll always have something to do. That's going to trigger all the adrenaline in your body, and it becomes an energy source for some people. It's probably not the cleanest energy source, but it does work, and after a while, it becomes a conditioned response in people. ‘I'm going to get up and I'm going to go fix things.'

Then, culturally, problem solving – that's what a lot of people get rewarded for. That's what you get rewarded for as a kid, and then you look at careers. It can be about solving problems, and I think that's fine at work – that describes a lot of jobs. You're solving problems and collaborating with other people to make their lives easier and better, but when it carries over into the mindset that things have to be fixed, that they're not right as they are, I think that leads to expending a lot of energy in not so productive ways. This comes to the bigger point that will come back to what Jen was talking about. The people that don't resonate so much with opportunity – how about the idea of perfection? By that, I mean the idea that we do judge things to be good or bad, but how about even when they don't feel so good, they're actually perfect as they are. And, even when they don't meet our expectations, they're actually just perfect as they are. There really is no room for a problem to occur – that the universe is always going to think of perfection. I'm just throwing that one out to see what people think.

Kate: And what that reminds me of is another thing that I try to remember, and that's that it's all here for a reason, and what am I going to learn. It reflects the opportunity piece of this, but it's again not about struggling or resisting or trying to change; it's about accepting what is. It's a softer place to be than the – than pushing against something. I don't know if that makes sense.

Drew: It makes sense to me.

Ken: It makes perfect sense to me, and there's an important distinction to be made because accepting it doesn't mean just laying down and ‘taking it'. There's a fine line between inclusion – actually, it's not a fine line at all, but there's a line between inclusion and apathy.

Drew: Give me an example of that, Ken. You're saying perfection doesn't mean just lying down and taking it; can you elaborate on that a bit more?

Ken: Yeah, I'll give you my own example. I'm in a place now where I'm ramping things up and wanting to bring in a whole lot more money these days. I can see that everything that I've done up to this point has led me to this place. Where I am is where I am.

Drew: If I can play with you for a second, right now where you are is not bringing the dollars that you'd like to bring in – is that a problem? Has that been perceived as a problem?

Ken: Occasionally, yeah. I go to that place sometimes where yeah, it is a problem. Then, in moments of clarity, I see that it's a matter of reflection.

Drew: If the physical universe never lies and the universe is perfection and you have a desire for more dollars and that's not showing up, and it's not a problem, what is that actually reflecting, do you think?

Ken: I know what it has been a reflection of and that's a great question. I know what it has been a reflection of and that's holding it as a problem. Looking back in time and going to the place of perfection right now, I can see that. It's a lot for me right now about letting go and accepting and setting a firm intention versus setting an expectation. Does that make sense?

Drew: I like where you're going with it; I'd just like to hear you say a little more about that. What would be the difference between a firm intention and an expectation?

Ken: An intention is, to me anyway, is in a way letting go and – it's essentially letting go of expectation. It feels a whole lot better. You know, there's a visceral sense to it of ‘this is what it feels like to be rewarded'.

Drew: Then, I would guess that an expectation would bring us more to the idea of how things have to happen – more of that linear thing?

Ken: Yeah, an expectation would be that it's Tuesday and there's not a check in my mailbox and I'm disappointed because it was supposed to be here today. Then, I go in and look at my checkbook and because the world didn't match my expectations versus my intention is that I stay in this ‘higher place'. Maybe it is a higher place; I'm not really sure.

Kate: It's a higher consciousness.

Ken: Yes, it's not a place of disappointment; it's a place of promise. It's like let's look at what I have right now. Let's look at the riches I have in my life because when I look at this – and I don't want to sound Pollyanna-ish, because it's not – but it's where my intention is at that moment. If my intention is on what's not there, then that takes me out of the moment as well.

Drew: So – the perfection part, I want to make this large point around that in general. If you do come from the place where the universe is a benevolent place and only wants good things for you, and you could get into that place of feeling that and trusting that, then a lot of the things that we perceive as problems, I have found, melt away. They're not really problems. I may not understand why things are happening, and they may not feel really good, but I have the sense that I need not ever really worry about this stuff. If I just allow good things to come into my experience, they do.

Kate: it sounds like what you were just talking about, Ken, is a reflection of what you were saying earlier. That when there is a ‘problem' like the check isn't in the mailbox, that it's not a reflection of you. It's not about being smaller or less than.

Ken: Exactly!

Kate: And when you're in the place of absolutely trusting that you're whole and complete and are operating from your higher consciousness, then you're in the right place and all will be well. That's a place of trust and confidence where you can hold an intention, and that's where we know what will be.

Ken: It's actually that all is well.

Kate: Yeah, gotcha.

Drew: Thank you for that. Let me get a sense from people where they are – what comes up, what buttons get pushed for them that puts them in problem mode? I can say that for me, it used to be money but I think I turned the corner on that about a year ago. For me, the situation with my mother still strikes me as a problem; I'm not completely clean on that one. My mother has Alzheimer's disease and as many times as I can deal with it as not a problem, it still comes up as a problem. I'm not completely clean on that yet; that would be a big one for me. Are there things that press a button within you that still says it's a problem? Anybody else want to share?

Kara: I can totally relate to that. I'm at the point where there are some readings about time and I'm having a little hard time grasping the time concept, having patience, and not really setting any specific deadlines.

Drew: So help me understand the time concept, Kara, in – ?

Kara In one of the readings I'm working on, they talk about time as really self-imposed. But unfortunately our society is based on time, so just trying to squeeze enough time in the day to accomplish goals without trying to understand – I'm trying not to impose those deadlines on us and hope that we'll make more progress for what we're trying to achieve without the deadlines.

Drew: So you feel time pressured.

Kara: Oh absolutely; we have 4 kids, two corporate jobs, and a house under renovation and what a challenge this can be. Then, the other thing you could probably throw in there is that our health started declining and that's why it's one of the hot buttons for me.

Drew: So real quickly, Kara, do you have an abundance of time in your life?

Kara: Yes, and we also have an abundance of tasks! (laugh)

Drew: Okay, do you have an abundance of time in your life – do you have an abundance of time, space and freedom in your life?

Kara: Absolutely. We all have an abundance of time in our lives; we also all have a list of things we have to get accomplished.

Drew: What I'm getting at – and I don't know if it'll be helpful – you're saying that, ‘if I can figure all this out and can get to this place, then it'll be good. There'll be more of this feeling that I want'.

Kara: Yeah, I would say that. I have a feeling that once we get there, we'll have more free time.

Drew: And that's a lie, though?

Kara: Yeah.

Drew: So what I would suggest that you play with the idea of coming from the ‘I am' place, even if it's not true right now. Even if you find yourself scrambling, come from the place of ‘I am', where you come from the place of abundance and joy and the other things that you desire. Start to put that in an ‘I am' statement.

Kara: Okay.

Drew: What you're doing now – you can hear it – you start creating it for yourself, and that is what you're creating right now. That's not what you really desire, so step into that place of what you really desire, even if it's not the reality you're experiencing right now.

Kara: Okay.

Drew: Thank you for sharing that. Anybody else?

Kate: My button is my coaching practice.

Drew: And the problem would be?

Kate: I don't want to do anything about it; I just want all my clients to flock to me without pounding the pavement, handing out business cards, and so on.

Drew: And there's part of you right now that thinks you have to do that?

Kate: Yes.

Drew: All right, thank you for sharing that. Anybody else?

Tony: Mine is similar to Kate's but it has to do with money.

Drew: And the problem is that there's not enough?

Tony: Yeah, the outgoing is bigger than the incoming.

Drew: What's the problem with that?

Tony: The problem is the future.

Drew: And has your experience with money always been a problem or is it something new?

Tony: It's probably always been a problem to a certain degree.

Drew: So your question would be, what would it take for money to never be a problem in your life again?

Tony: Yeah.

Drew: Okay. I'm just trying to get a sense of people here and what everybody's experience has been. Anybody else?

Jen: I think mine is more a feeling of wasting time – not just time, but the life I feel passionate and excited about seems to be a constant pressure. I seem to just be floating along and not really achieving that.

Drew: So when – help me understand – when people discuss passion or are passionate about what they do around you, that presses a button in you?

Jen: Huge!

Drew: Okay. Got it! Thank you for sharing that.

Kate: I could fix that if she hires me as a coach! (laugh)

Drew: There you go! We're not fixing any problems – no fixing! Anybody else? Everybody else is problem free? What I would want for all of you leaving the call is that today, tomorrow, the next day, our buttons are going to get pushed. We can be in that place where we react to our vast conditioning of those judgments we have in our life – something we don't want, something that we let upset us. In those moments, from this discussion – from the idea that the universe is a benevolent place and only has good things for us – maybe we don't understand why everything occurs in our life, but we do know we have a choice of how we respond to that. If we can take a step back in those moments and respond and say, ‘Is this a problem in my life right now at this very moment? Does it have to be?' At that point, we can make a different decision.

I would hope that everybody can hold up the idea that, whether or not it seems realistic, but it's something – a vision out there to be moving towards is a life with no problems. The problems are for other people; let them deal with them. You're the kind of person who goes through life without problems and how great is that, that you can live so effortlessly. That's what I would desire for everybody.

So, I will say thank you for this class as well, and follow the schedules; I'll be putting another one up at another time and date. Thanks for joining the class!