You Get What You Deserve

Drew Rozell, Session Leader

Drew: Where do our notions around deserving come from?

Autumn: I think a lot comes from the outside. Someone says, ‘You don't deserve it' and start believing it without thinking about it. I see people, myself included, telling themselves ‘you're not going to get it' or ‘you don't deserve it'. And, that's very sad.

Drew: It is. The whole notion of self-worth comes from looking outside ourselves. As children, that's what we do to take in information and learn about ourselves – we take in information from our parents and the people around us, and they become our beliefs. Those beliefs become everything we create. Most people don't realize that you choose what you create in your life; most people believe that things just happen to you and you just have to live with them. We're taught at a young age – one of the biggest things I look at now and something that needs to fundamentally change for all of us, is that we need to amp up the level of desire. What is it that you really, really want or desire? Most people don't have a clear picture of that, and if you don't have that clear picture you can't bring it into your experience.

Because most of us have been taught not to want or desire a lot – that it's selfish to want a lot for yourself and that it would be taking something away from somebody else – has such negative connotations very often that we stifle; we push them down. We're not asking for a lot. Does that make sense to everybody out there?

XXX: Is desire different from expectations?

Drew: What would you call an expectation?

XXX: Something that has a sense of urgency.

Drew: I don't know – when I say ‘desire' that's something that comes from a feeling I have that resonates with me. If I have an expectation, for example, I have a way that I want things to do or a way I want it to look, and it's more in my mind. A desire, on the other hand, is just an internal truth to me that I can just feel. Does that make any sense?

XXX: Just like saying you desire a job or you expect a job.

Drew: I don't think anybody desires a job, but I think they expect a job. That's my distinction right there. The expectation is almost like what is possible, rather than the truth of what I really desire. Most people live in the expectation of what's possible; what can feasibly happen, what am I worthy of, and what's realistic. That's one way to live, but that's different than what is the truth of my desire. Can anybody feel the difference there?

Sue: What speaks to me in that analysis is that expectation is when you go underneath the house or the job and find what you really want, which might be financial freedom that gives you the ability to travel.

Drew: And as you say that, what comes up for me is that I don't have expectation of what's going to happen doesn't interest me. Yet with a desire, you get flashes of intuition or hits of things that are going to be created for you. One that comes up for me is a lake house, and it's a knowing; I don't know how it will happen, but it's something that I know will happen because I want it and allow myself to want it. What I've noticed is that if there's a place you're struggling – money, for example – whatever it is, if you're not bringing into your experience exactly what you desire then somewhere in there is a strong possibility that you don't deserve that. We're the ones who are in charge of that. Any questions or comments?

XXX: One thing that I heard is a distinction that it really feels more external – somebody else has to do something for an expectation. Desire is more internal and you fuel that yourself.

Drew: That's well said; I would agree with that. Everything we're talking about here is around deserving and about attraction and that it's completely internally driven. It comes from the place of inspiration – that's where that resonance, that energy is. Expectation often is something outsides ourselves, looking outside ourselves in some way.

XXX: What speaks to me is that there's nothing to earn; it just IS.

Drew: Exactly – we don't have to earn it. Does everybody on the call understand that you deserve and are worthy of and fully capable of bringing into your life absolutely anything that you want, anything that you desire? We all get that on a mental level, but does everybody get that on a feeling level.

XXX: Not all the time.

XXX: I think I relate to what you said a few minutes ago. I notice that in my life I've shut down wanting for things because for me, it's a kind of pain.

Drew: Tell me more about that desire being connected with pain.

XXX: I feel that what I desire I will not get and that causes pain. In order to avoid this pain, I feel like I need to shut down that want.

Drew: If you were to have everything you wanted, who wouldn't like it?

XXX: No one.

Drew: Historically, somebody wouldn't like it. I can tell by listening to you.

XXX: Well, I think it's my mother.

Drew: What is the story, if you can share that with us?

XXX: My parents didn't have very much money and had a certain relationship with money, you know. If I had that, I would have something they didn't achieve and they deserved it.

Drew: So that would somehow separate you? That's what I'm feeling. You have this connection that if you were to create, and create abundantly, this would pull you away.

Kate: Can I share something I just heard you two say? It struck me about how we fear to be disappointed. It's like we speak to protect ourselves from being disappointed; for example, I wanted this and didn't get it so I'm going to think small and then I won't be disappointed again.

Drew: And living at that level, all we do is continually disappoint ourselves because we're moving away from what we truly deserve. For so many of us, it's just what we learned; it's not the truth. The truth is that we get to create whatever we desire, and we're here to desire. The question becomes are you going to go with your belief that you learned, or the truth? That becomes a jumping-off point for us.

When I'm working with a client and something comes up around deserving – you can see what's showing up or not showing up for that person, and you'll find on the flipside if you ask that person, ‘What do you really desire?', you'll find that the person keeps themselves from desiring because it wouldn't be right to go to that place.

XXX: Or I'll have pain.

Drew: Is the pain that you don't get it or the separation if you do get it?

XXX: I think there's a kind of thing regarding the – let's take an example of wanting a new car. There's a feeling that if I would desire it, it would cause me a lot of pain because I don't have it and I want it.

Drew: Do you deserve it? Do you deserve that car just for being you – not for doing anything, not for figuring out how to bring it into your experience, but do you deserve that car?

XXX: My first answer is no because I have to do something.

Drew: And think about that; that's just the way we're trained. Then, our sense of self-worth isn't about being infinitely valuable and worthy to bring anything into our experience that we want; it's like we have to do something or create something. It becomes a tug-of-war right there. The effect of that is that, first of all, you're putting out a muted attraction out into the universe because you think you have to be part of a process. You wouldn't just be allowing it in your experience; you'd be setting up that block around it.

XXX: I can see that.

Drew: What if I were to give you the car today – if I were to give you the keys right now? What would that feel like? Would you want it?

XXX: I think I wouldn't take it because I don't want anything I haven't worked for.

Drew: Can you feel that energy in your body right now?

XXX: Yes, it's in my stomach area.

Drew: Everybody, you may be familiar with this from previous attraction calls, but whenever we're in a place of resisting, you'll notice it in your body an energy form – that's the barrier right there. That energy is what's keeping that desire from him; it hits that energy and responds to that energy and it stops the process. I think it's critical to be able to feel that energy and be aware of when that shows up and to eliminate that energy. Does everybody understand the concept of that or should I say more about that?

XXX: Say more, please.

Drew: What's happening in all of our lives is energy and like vibrations attract like vibrations. Since that's the energy we're giving out, that's the energy we're bringing back and when we have an intention of what we desire – we'll talk about a car as an example – what you know and can hear in him is that you hear the ‘I want it and desire it, but….' Any time that happens – and that happens on most intentions – the result of that conflicting intention is that it brings up an energy in one's body. Typically we're not aware of it, and what you want to do is become aware that when you have a conflicting intention, it calls up this energy in your body. You can have all the intentions in the world, but what the universe respond to is what energy is in your body. Most of us don't realize that energy is present, but that becomes our point of attraction and that's what we create. That's the law of attraction.

It's critically important that you recognize the energy that's present in your body and become aware of the things that make you feel that way. The most powerful way to change your life is to become aware of those reactions and the resulting energy in your body and eliminate that. Question or comments on that?

Kate: I'm hearing what you say and it reminds me it's about our willingness to perceive it and accept it. That's the door.

Drew: Yes, it's really about unlearning all these habits you've been taught and getting back to our natural state. If you look at a child, it doesn't have a question about what it deserves; that's given to them by their parents. As a child, the world is your oyster, and really as an adult, none of that has changed, just our beliefs.

XXX: And the thing that goes along with that is the joy.

Drew: Yes, there's no question about our deserving to be happy.

XXX: What comes up for me is a place where you could get support for that – who would you ask?

Drew: Isn't that amazing, though; everybody is just that way. We say we'll support someone in what they desire, but very often that's the opposite.

XXX: I'm thinking that my daughter wants a car, and I'm thinking, ‘If you work hard enough, you'll get one'. That seems to be the normal way that it's manifested itself.

Drew: And you talk about support – another thing we could do is start to pump up your deserve, or to feed your desire. For the folks out there, I'm curious; what is it that you really desire?

Denise: I guess my desire is to have money flow into my existence without this work ethic that I have to attach to it.

Drew: What do you really want?

Denise: I'd love to pay off my bills without having to worry; I'd love to be out of debt.

Drew: But that's not what you really want either.

Denise: I think it is; I'd love to be able to pay off our business.

Drew: I'm sure you would, but understand there's not enough juice underneath that; if there were, you would be there. What is it that you really, really desire for you? That's the other part here – what is it that you want for YOU, not for your family or all these other people.

Denise: That goes back to the cabin in the mountains; a summer place or winter place where we could escape from the world.

Drew: What if that was your world?

Denise: That would be the most wonderful place to be in.

Drew: And hear the energy around that? That's what you desire and what you deserve – that's where to put your attention and your knowing. Just thinking about that right now, does that bring up any energy in your body.

Denise: Yeah, that feels really good.

Drew: It doesn't bring up any resistance?

Denise: I've worked on it and I'm trying to just allow – when the resistance comes up, I try to leave it as ‘that'll be great'.

Drew: And that's the place where you have to get to, the place where you're inspired. When I ask people what they desire, they'll put up something that's energetically a 4 or 5 and they'll never get it because it's not what they really desire. What is it that you really desire?

Anna: I would say that I desire a good and healthy relationship. I've never been in a bad relationship, but that's something that I desire right now.

Drew: Do you know that a healthy relationship will come into your experience?

Anna: Yes, I do.

Drew: That's great! Anybody else on a strong desire that you have? Putting it out as an intention in front of the group can be powerful.

Kate: For me, it's about living consistently in a state of freedom and peace.

Drew: Can you refine that a bit?

Kate: Well, I know what that feels like, and it's when there's energy and there's no doubt; things are flowing in. I feel it, and then it goes; I know my thoughts change and it goes. What I desire so strongly is to have this be present.

Drew: What I heard in that was you living in a way that is fully trusting your inner knowledge and using that as your one and only guide, and that results in peace.

Kate: Yes.

Drew: That's beautiful. Do you want it or experience it?

Kate: I do experience it sometimes, and feel where it's very strong. I so strongly desire it even more, though, so it's not just a temporary thing that will diminish but just stay at that knowing, strong level.

Drew: Beautiful! I'll share with you – I've had a conversation with my friend this weekend over what I desire in my life. I want a house in the Adirondacks, I want an apartment in New York, I want a summer house in Seattle, and I want a ski chalet somewhere in Colorado or in British Columbia.

XXX: I have a question – are wants and desires the same?

Drew: If we kind of interchange the word a bit so we don't use ‘desire' all the time, but for me, the word ‘desire' resonates more – it's that connected place, where sometimes ‘want' can be coming from that lacking place if it's used in a certain way. If you want to know how to eliminate this, look at the conflicting intentions and see where that energy comes up in your body. By feeling into the core of that energy, it opens up that pipeline. I would highly recommend that to you – you get into the source of the energy. You realize it's just a habit and you can change that habit, and you can change it pretty easily, just by feeling into that feeling.

When I was talking before about wanting those places, it would be so much fun. If there were a concert in New York, I'd just go and stay there and go to the concert. My friend just couldn't get that; he could see how I could get that. Anybody that creates abundance in their lives is the person that allows themselves to create that abundance. That's our job – to really desire a lot. Make that dream big because if you don't, there's no way you're going to create that. Does that make sense?

Drew: Who's got questions or comments in the time we have left?

Kate: Could you talk a little bit about work and doing to make it happen that's hard and a struggle versus – something that I noticed is that I have a strong desire and opportunities come to me that I'm called to act upon in some way?

Drew: And how does that feel?

Kate: It feels very natural and not like work; it feels like joy.

Drew: Yes, at some point you have to show up; the question is, are you showing up out of inspiration or are you showing up because you think that if you do, you'll finally get something? Most people, if you look at your lives, they're in the place of ‘I need to do this in order to get that', and I won't be happy to be in a place for 40 to 50 hours a week but I'll be there because it'll get me something – versus coming from a place of your spirit. You may be doing something, but it doesn't feel like work. It's a reflection of who you are. I still call what I do ‘work', but it doesn't feel like work; I don't do things my body says ‘don't do'. That's the strongest part of the conditioning. Think about it. If I want all those places – and I'm sure it would cost millions of dollars to have them all, and if that's related to all the work I put it, how could I have that? I just want to have the fun; I don't want to clean them all! That's the truth.

XXX: So you wouldn't think about how you're going to create it or how you're going to get there.

Drew: Yes, and we have that habit that we feel like we have to figure it out. Any time you feel that pressure to figure it out, move away from that.

Anna: Like you said you want those houses, but even though you may no longer think about how you're going to get those places, maybe there's still something subconsciously there about how you're going to get there.

Drew: What will happen most likely is that I will do something that's an expression of who I am and where I'm connected, and then in that place, I will connect to these other things and draw them to my life. But, if I think that I have to work for it or figure out how, my answer is ‘I don't know'. If we think about how something is going to show up, we think ‘I don't know', and that's a conditioning. How does it feel to think ‘I don't know'? Not very good, and then that becomes the energy we're putting out there. It's not your job to figure it out; it's your job to let it unfold. You're not the creator of everything; you're the vehicle for it.

We have a minute or two here; what did you get out of this call?

Anna: A lot!

Drew: Is there some point you got, Anna?

Anna: I think the point you just made about not thinking about how you're going to create it is the big point for me. I think about how I'm going to get it too much.

Drew: And it's just that you deserve it. Thank you for that.

Susan: For me, it gets back to being more clear about what I really desire so when it shows up, I'll recognize it, versus something showing up that's not really part of that picture. That really helps to be clear about that.

Drew: It does; thank you for bringing that up. It would benefit everybody, I think, to write it down. Don't just create things by default – create by intention. Notice what that is, admit that to yourself and put that down on paper and begin to create from a deliberate place. Thank you for that. Write it down….

Joanne: I think the biggest thing I got was how to look at it from a different perspective, and inspired actions, and realizing that when I get those hits, that really is my guidance telling me this is some of the way I can manifest what I wanted rather than sitting back and waiting for it magically to appear.

Drew: Yeah, that's why you get those hits; they're saying ‘follow me'. Is there one more out there?

XXX: I got that if it's something you truly desire and you come from a happy place, it will manifest itself.

Drew: Make yourself a list; you'll go through that list and there'll be a list after that and after that. Thank you all for the comments. Thank you all so much for joining the call – take care, everybody!